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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Halloween 101


Once again, I'm stealing from Sue over at Happy Hour and Happy Meals...because she's way funnier than me!!

This whole Halloween season must seem so bizarre to foreigners.

Foreigner: So what do I do first?

American: First, get yourself some cornstalks for the front of the house.

Foreigner: From a farm?

American: No, from Michael's. Grab a scarecrow while you're there, too.

Foreigner: But I don't have any crops to guard...

American: You NEED a scarecrow. Everybody has one.

Foreigner: And where do I get the pumpkin?

American: Well, you could just buy one at the grocery store...but the REAL way to do it is drag the whole family to a "pumpkin farm", stand on line for a hayride, ride a quarter mile out to a field, pose for the Christmas photo, "pick" a pumpkin from the ground, lug it back to the cashier, spend $30 in pies, and go home.

Foreigner: And then I have to carve a face into it?

American : Only if your kids remind you.

Foreigner: OK -and what do I need for Halloween night.

American: Lots of candy. To give to the neighbors' kids.

Foreigner: And what about my kids?

American: They'll be getting candy from the neighbors.

Foreigner: And do they eat all this candy?

American: No. There will be a lot of candy they "don't like".

Foreigner: And what happens to that candy?

American: The moms eat it.

Foreigner: So once you've visited everyone in the neighborhood, and they've oohed and aahhd over your kids' costumes, do you all become friends and socialize on a regular basis?

American: No - we don't speak again til next Halloween.

4 comments:

Deb Burton said...

Yep, that about sums it up at our house. Only now that my kids are teens and the Halloween thing doesn't cut it anymore with them, I have to buy enough candy for both the neighbor kids AND mine.:-)

CaraBee said...

You know, when you put it that way, it sounds kind of weird. I still love Halloween, though. Of course, it might be the candy.

Evi said...

I just stopped in to say Thank You for stopping by for the BATW tour the other day. I really enjoyed having so many visitors.

Moi said...

i agree. that would be an interesting thing to explain.